


And You Let Her Go

by thegreenfairy246



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Coffee Shops, F/M, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Light Angst, Motorcycles, Pining, Songfic, Steve Rogers's Motorcycle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 00:53:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17234369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreenfairy246/pseuds/thegreenfairy246
Summary: the parts in asterisks are flashbacks





	And You Let Her Go

**Author's Note:**

> the parts in asterisks are flashbacks

Bucky Barnes had recently realized he was quite stupid. It had been brought to his attention through his own doing, but it was still a bit of a shock. Plenty of people had told him so over his life, but he never really believed them. In his defense, he had been trying to protect you. Of course, that had been his first mistake. You were his light, and he should have known better.

 

*“God Bucky! You can't just push everyone away and call that a life. I don't need protecting. Especially from you. Because, newsflash, everyone already knows what Hydra did to you. But I don't see any of it. I've seen you curled up in warm blankets, I've seen you baking in the middle of the night, and I've seen you singing karaoke and none of that is anything that could ever hurt me. You've always been my Bucky and you always will be.  And of all people you should know that you don't have to hide anything from me!”

 

Bucky could see the tear tracks on your cheeks accompanied by the fury in your eyes, and knew he had sealed his fate. “Y/N it's better if I keep my distance. You know how thrilled Hydra would be to take you from me. Since they can't get inside my head anymore, they'd do anything to make me vulnerable. You know- you know I just want you to be safe...I always want you to be safe. Please just, just go Y/N.”

 

You shook your head, “Well Bucky you got your wish. I'm gone. Have a freaking fantastic life.” You packed your things like a whirlwind and slammed the door as you left. Bucky was alone again, the way he should have been.*

 

Bucky might have gone to your favorite cafe to see you, or he might have gone because he liked their bagels. And if it was the first one well the rest of world didn't have to know it. He had chosen a corner table with the hope that, if you happened to walk in, you wouldn't notice him. He had desperately wanted to sit at your favorite table, but that seemed too obvious. Bucky was going more for an inconspicuous reader vibe, and less of a pining ex boyfriend one. He had been a master spy for decades, surely he could manage this. But then you walked in and all his perfect plans went out the window.

 

*Bucky had never seen someone so excited about coffee. Bucky vaguely remembered it tasting like bitter dirt back in the 30's. Naturally, he wasn't thrilled about trying it again. It didn't do much for him nowadays anyway, what with the whole enhanced thing. You dragged him into this little hole in the wall place, ordered the strangest sounding thing on the menu, and he had been hooked the minute he took the first sip. Whipped cream was Bucky's very best friend in this century.*

 

You looked as lovely as you ever had. Bucky realized, with a quivering breath, that you were wearing his hoodie. You weren't wearing makeup, your hair wasn't done, and you looked exhausted. There was little chance of you noticing him, you made no moves to look anywhere but at the cashier. He wanted to hug you. He so missed hugging you. As you walked out, he could feel his heart begging him to follow you. It took all his willpower to ignore it.

 

A few weeks later, Steve dragged Bucky to one of Tony’s parties, which he knew he detested. The absolute punk. You were the only thing that had ever made them bearable.

 

*You were backed up against Bucky's chest and playing with your intertwined fingers. Bucky had his face nuzzled into your neck. He knew he was clingy, but sometimes he just couldn't help it. He hadn't been around anything like you in so long. You were sweet and you made him laugh and you let him cling to you like a koala in public places. You were his sunshine. He was a lucky man and he knew it. Bucky hadn't focused on a single conversation all night. All he could hear was you laughing at all the jokes he was too distracted to get. All he could see was your pretty hair that he had watched you spend far too long on. All he could think about was the fact that you hadn't stopped holding his hand since you walked in.*

 

Bucky was doing a superb job of holding up the wall, and ignoring absolutely everyone that asked him to dance. He had no intention of dancing again with anybody that wasn't you. Steve introduced girl after girl until finally Bucky slipped down the hall and up to his room. He flopped onto his bed in quiet contemplation. Bucky knew he had to do something to get you back, but he didn't know what. What he did know was he had to find the quickest way possible to your apartment. 

 

In hindsight, Steve's bike might not have been the best choice. Bucky was certain that Steve would be pissed when he found out, but he was hopeful getting you back would ease the anger. He would have to be pleased to have Bucky stop moping around his room. 

 

As he walked up the stairs to your place, he realized with a jolt that he had nothing to offer you, save himself. That would be enough, he hoped. When he found himself face to face with your door, he couldn't bring himself to knock on it. He was sure he'd be faced with rejection, which he probably deserved. But you had to know, he had to tell you he had realized his mistake. With a sudden surge of confidence, he raised a hand to knock on your door. He heard you call, “Just a minute!”, and then there you were.

 

Bucky saw your eyes widen before you crossed your arms and said, “Bucky? What're you doing here?” 

 

“Hey, doll.” He rubbed a hand down the side of his face, “I just, uh, I needed to talk to you.”

 

When he didn't get a response, he figured you wanted him to keep talking. He continued, “I was real dumb, doll. I, um, I should never have done what I did. And I've been paying for it everyday since. Baby I've missed you...so much. You have no idea, well maybe you do, I hope you do anyway. If you could, if you could just try to forgive me, I promise you I'll never hurt you again. I love you, doll, so much. Just...please think about it.”

 

By the time Bucky finished, you had started crying. He watched you take a deep breath and say, “Bucky I really want to. You have to know how much I want to. But when you told me to leave my whole world crumbled.” You voice broke but you continued, “I can't just...forget it that easily.”

 

Bucky hadn't thought you'd run into his arms full of forgiveness, but the truth still felt like a slap. He nodded, “Yeah...yeah I get that. It was really, really good to see you Y/N.”

 

“You too Buck.”

 

In his whole life, Bucky hadn't been so nervous about anything. He took his phone everywhere he went, he constantly looked out his window to see if your car was near. Steve, who actually hadn't been that mad just “disappointed”, had told him he needed to get a life. He didn't know that Bucky's life was out there somewhere deciding his fate. Finally, after what felt like years, but was really only a few weeks, there was a knock on his door. He opened it to find you, and his heart stopped.

 

“Oh, um, hi.” Smooth Barnes, real smooth. 

 

You barged right into his living room like you belonged there and said, “You have a lot of nerve Bucky, just showing up out of the blue like that. What'd you expect me to do, huh? Do you know how impossible it was not to forgive you right on the spot? Did you even stop to think how much I've missed you?”

 

“Course I did. I was hoping you missed me half as much as I missed you. I've been walking around here without my heart. Making you leave was the worst mistake I've ever made. I love you, doll.”

 

You smiled for the first time since you walked in and told him, “I love you too Bucky.”

 

His head whipped up, “You…do?”

 

“Of course I do. I never stopped.”

 

And that was all Bucky needed. He crossed the room to you in three strides, wrapped his arms around you and swore to himself he wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi y'all! Thanks for reading! If y'all like my work, you can follow me on tumblr @strawberrybucky


End file.
